People in general seem much more willing to speak the positives about someone, when they know that person will see their opinions. I had several people tell me they just could not fill out the nohari window, that the descriptors were too harsh and hardline.

Well, traditionally, we should speak loudly the good we know of people -- and remember "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Undoubtedly, that's part of the lesson. It's rare that people want to hear the bad about themselves. Sometimes they can take a veiled hint from a friend -- and sometimes not.

I agree with your friends, I think -- the descriptions are quite harsh. It would be hard to use many of them. After all, is it fair to call someone a coward who cannot stay glued to a public opinion when it will destroy the family unit? That's why I find "outing" wrong. Everyone has to handle it their own way. Part of me thinks that everyone should just be honest about things, and it's not the fault of the honest person if others in the group are lying to themselves.

But part of me has seen what it can do to a mother who still is not convinced that it's genetics -- and thinks they did something "wrong" which is why their child is not heterosexual. So I don't pressure friends on these things. They have to live it -- I can only observe and be supportive of them, whatever they decide to do.