alfreda89: 3 foot concrete Medieval style gargoyle with author's hand resting on its head. (Default)
alfreda89 ([personal profile] alfreda89) wrote2004-08-26 12:08 am

RIP Meg 1990-2004

Meg left us this morning.


We didn't have a lot of warning. Blood tests two weeks ago showed a .4 weight loss and respiratory problems, which seemed to be allergies. Only a slight gamma globulin problem, explained most likely by the allergies/asthma. Suddenly, she was vomiting bile and foam Friday night--we thought because of the steroid, or because we'd gone back to a small amount of meat in her diet. Then, she'd be normal, if quiet, and still drinking water, for 24 hours--then it would happen again.

Monday AM Dr. Walden gave her fluids and an anti-inflammatory to see if we could calm her slightly distended stomach. The plan was, if she didn't improve in 24 hours, we'd discuss another injection or X-ray.

Well, she was holding her own, no more vomiting Monday night, ears cool, alert--water, no food still. When she didn't eat Tuesday, and her breathing seemed harder, I called and talked with the doc--we agreed, if she evened out again, I'd bring her in AM, if not, within the hour.

Labored breathing stopped completely, so I continued to watch. She's such a bird weight, I didn't want to stress her (they didn't even cut her toenails while she was in, to avoid stress) but by 10:30 pm she was sitting in the cat box mouth breathing, and had vomited a 50 cent piece of foam.

A cat's stomach and intestines can become so large they crowd out her other organs. Her stomach had become twisted, and the rib cage was slightly distorted, implying possibly a tumor, but not showing up on the X-ray (common not to show up--the twist is more common to dogs.) Surgery prognosis was 25% for survival and good quality of life. I could not do that to her, just because I did not want to let go.


She was my princess, my Dorian Gray, who reached 14 untouched by time--only since we moved did she seem smaller, frailer, less interested in life. Sometimes compared to the boys, she was almost aloof in her rare displays of affection--but she dug in with her claws, and made her own place in my heart. Fourteen and a half years together, most of them good. My Ex picked her out, the runt of the litter--but she was a sweetheart, and she wanted to stay with me.

I think animals are given to us to learn to love and to lose--but there is nothing easy about it. And it doesn't get any easier each time.

Yes, I'm still cremating cats and keeping the ashes. Eventually I intend to bury them at my summer cottage, so they will have the Michigan coast to enjoy forever--if my own wish for cremation is carried out. Otherwise, in my casket I shall be surrounded by cat ashes, to confound some future archeologist....

The end of a very long week. More when there's strength.

[identity profile] rolanni.livejournal.com 2004-08-26 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so sorry.

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 07:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for the kind thought. Amazing how important the cats become, isn't it? They've entered my SF novels, too...and I can see one heading for the next fantasy novel.

Do you put your babies in your books, or do you create new cat friends for your stories?

I've got to learn how to screen/unscreen....

[identity profile] rolanni.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
Do you put your babies in your books, or do you create new cat friends for your stories?

Merlin, of course, is Based on a True Cat. How not? *g*

Seriously, like the rest of the people in our stories, the cats are usually composites. Archie and Hypatia did manage to sneak, whole cat, into "The Big Ice," a fact I didn't actually notice until long after Andre accepted the story....

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Merlin, of course, is Based on a True Cat. How not? *g*

I also have one who walks through walls.... He hasn't told me if he walks through hyperspace.

...a fact I didn't actually notice until long after Andre accepted the story....

And isn't that the oddest feeling, when it happens?

[identity profile] noiseinmyhead.livejournal.com 2004-08-26 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry.

*hugs*

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
Hugs back, fellow "They are way too important to me, *it, but that's the way it is" person....

Just Hugs

[identity profile] moon-happy.livejournal.com 2004-08-26 08:40 am (UTC)(link)
I like the image of you surrounded by cat ashes and an archeologist scratching his/her head.

Re: Just Hugs

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
In the spirit of confiding, as if this were the "bar" we imagine in Broad's Bar...one of the cats haunted us after she died? And she came with me to the duplex after I moved away. I haven't seen her since W and I hooked up--maybe because she knows I'm happy, so she went on to her next life?

No wonder I write fiction.... %^)

[identity profile] christymarx.livejournal.com 2004-08-26 11:51 am (UTC)(link)
My heartfelt sympathies. It's so hard to lose them. [[hugs]]

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
I only had three, and the other two are 9 and 12 (although no new friends believe this--the cats look and act 3 and 5....) You have your wonderful horde--is it any easier at all, because you have the gang to support you, when you lose one? Or is there no protection in numbers?

[identity profile] christymarx.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't make it any easier to lose one, just because there are more around. I still miss the special ones I've lost.

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
It doesn't make it any easier to lose one, just because there are more around. I still miss the special ones I've lost.

I suspected as much....

[identity profile] frankthurk.livejournal.com 2004-08-26 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Much sympathies, very sorry to hear about Meg.

[identity profile] alfreda89.livejournal.com 2004-08-27 07:14 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks. Hope having your visitors has made it a good week--and that your furry gang are keeping you company!