alfreda89 | Those TEDx Talks.....

Yes, I know that it's said that there are not enough TED talks done by women. But still, I enjoy listening to TED talks whenever I have a chance. I decided to listen to The Great Porn Experiment because I think that a lot of problems are caused by Internet porn. A lot of people are shutting down and not interacting with real people (Yes, we're talking men who pay no attention to real women, because their fantasy women are giving them more novelty than they know what to do with.)

And you know what? There are no college age men using the Internet to become the control group for a study on this -- because the average boy is looking for Internet porn by age ten, and is a regular user by age fourteen.

Turns out it changes the brain -- and not in a good way. And, like weed, starting Internet porn early means it takes longer to recover from Internet porn. (Yup -- there are men who are recovering and finding their lives once again.)

So I recommend this TEDx talk...I suspect it's very important.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, that is interesting. Thank you.

I know of two marriages that had trouble over Internet porn -- because the men suddenly had no interest in sex in the marriage, which did not amuse the young wives.

Getting men to realize they have a problem will be a trick.

Oh, yes.

I suspect that the problems to which you refer aren't rooted in viewing sexual imagery (which is as old as cave paintings). They are more likely rooted in our inability to communicate needs or understand the needs of others.

That is, the needs for novelty, sex, sexual intimacy, and love are all both normal (and universal) needs. Meeting the first two needs by viewing sexually explicit imagery can never fulfill the latter two needs. Some men (and women) lack a certain literacy when it comes to their needs, and so confuse and conflate these four things. This can lead to problems in or out of a relationship, certainly.

To complicate matters, vilification of sexually explicit imagery deepens the problem. We're left dealing with the cognitive dissonance that comes with two conflicting ideas: "sexually explicit imagery is bad (or in the case of this post... dangerous!), but I like the novelty and sexual release associated with viewing it". This leads us to a weird place, mentally. It trains us to associate fulfilling normal needs with fear, shame, and negative self-judgements. *This* is a key part of the problem.

Rather than trying to convince people that they have a problem caused by viewing sexual imagery, let us help people to develop an understanding of these universal human needs by cultivating self-awareness, active listening, compassion, empathy, and other core communication skills. This may help to address the actual problem.

I think that these are all very good points. And I don't think that anyone should be ashamed of enjoying some porn/erotica. Did you listen to the talk? It's a mini-talk, so it's around 16 minutes. Apparently physical problems are happening, not from watching porn, but for those who actually become sexual addicts. It shows symptoms just like any other addiction.

The talk is worth listening to - it brings up some interesting things.

Those TEDx Talks.....

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An alternative way to look at this

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