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Conversations with Merlyn
Merlyn was very ill earlier this year. He masquerades as a ten year old font of catly wisdom and sneaky energy, but he is nineteen, so ill is cause for concern. During this event, we figured out he had a sinus infection, and since he could not smell anything, he would not eat. I had to get him breathing through his nose. So I stuffed him in a carrier, stuck it next to a sink, draped a towel over carrier and sink, and filled the sink with boiling water.
It took him two tries to figure out that it helped. Then he loved it. Then it helped with allergies. Now, months later, he is chowing down on K/D kibble at night and chicken & gravy baby food during the day, is solid muscle again--and wants to be steamed several times a day. Which is, I must admit, an undertaking.
When he started playing the "I want to be steamed two minutes and get out" game, we had a problem. A friend's cat sent him a vaporizer.
He is DEEPLY suspicious of the vaporizer, plus it doesn't put out steam fast enough for him. How can he cosplay being a jaguar laying in wait by a mythical boiling Amazon, if the steam doesn't show up in a billow?
Merlyn, eying vaporizer: It is growing a tentacle.
Personal Monkey (PM): Don't be silly, that's a cord.
Merlyn (M): It has a glowing red eye.
PM: It does not have a glowing red eye. It does, I admit, have a red glowing section so people don't trip over it and can find it in the dark.
M: I will call it Sauron.
PM: Why are we naming the vaporizer?
M: It's alive. It should have a name.
PM: It's not alive.
M: Of course it is. You water it regularly, warm fog appears, we get evaporation, and it's started raining in Texas. Sounds like Carbon Cycle to me. I rest my case.
PM: That leaves out a bunch of steps.
M: Does it turn orange and gold in the fall?
PM: Let's get back to the point. The vaporizer--
M: Sauron.
PM: The point is, Sauron can run for up to 14 hours, and then shut off. The entire room will have more moisture. You won't step into a pool of boiling water, so I don't have to put you in a cage. You can do this after I am working outside the home. And I promise you--Sauron does not eat cats.
M: Sauron has to eat something. Now I need to worry about you getting eaten.
PM: NNNGggggggg
Edamame Cat=1, PM=0
It took him two tries to figure out that it helped. Then he loved it. Then it helped with allergies. Now, months later, he is chowing down on K/D kibble at night and chicken & gravy baby food during the day, is solid muscle again--and wants to be steamed several times a day. Which is, I must admit, an undertaking.
When he started playing the "I want to be steamed two minutes and get out" game, we had a problem. A friend's cat sent him a vaporizer.
He is DEEPLY suspicious of the vaporizer, plus it doesn't put out steam fast enough for him. How can he cosplay being a jaguar laying in wait by a mythical boiling Amazon, if the steam doesn't show up in a billow?
Merlyn, eying vaporizer: It is growing a tentacle.
Personal Monkey (PM): Don't be silly, that's a cord.
Merlyn (M): It has a glowing red eye.
PM: It does not have a glowing red eye. It does, I admit, have a red glowing section so people don't trip over it and can find it in the dark.
M: I will call it Sauron.
PM: Why are we naming the vaporizer?
M: It's alive. It should have a name.
PM: It's not alive.
M: Of course it is. You water it regularly, warm fog appears, we get evaporation, and it's started raining in Texas. Sounds like Carbon Cycle to me. I rest my case.
PM: That leaves out a bunch of steps.
M: Does it turn orange and gold in the fall?
PM: Let's get back to the point. The vaporizer--
M: Sauron.
PM: The point is, Sauron can run for up to 14 hours, and then shut off. The entire room will have more moisture. You won't step into a pool of boiling water, so I don't have to put you in a cage. You can do this after I am working outside the home. And I promise you--Sauron does not eat cats.
M: Sauron has to eat something. Now I need to worry about you getting eaten.
PM: NNNGggggggg
Edamame Cat=1, PM=0
no subject
good luck in your struggles..
no subject
I've never had to steam a cat yet, but I'm glad to know it's an option. And smart him, to realize he should ask for it.
P.
no subject
perhaps you can still steam him a few times a week, for extra benefit?
no subject
Cat bolts into carrier past Sauron.
Cat sneaks back out of carrier past Sauron.
Mom boiling water.
Laughed uproariously...
And I did, indeed, laugh uproariously, because I have talked to my Mom's dogs a time or two. (But trust me; they aren't anywhere near this intelligent. Their dialogue is more like, "Must have food!" or "Love me now, then get me food!")
Re: Laughed uproariously...
Cats are so present tense.